Because I'm a Guy... ...I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I'll miss a whole show looking for it, though one time I was able 2 survive by holding a calculator. ...when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call the mech until long after hypothermia has set in. Oh, and when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another guy shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink beer. ...when I catch cold am homa I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't an issue. ...I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk, or bread.I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "masala" or " vinegar" For all I know these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which"feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism. ...when one of our appliances stops working I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together. ...I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger-how the heck could HE know where we're going? ...there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either lungula, rugee,beer, work or football, though I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't. ...I do not want to visit ur mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for mother's day is ok, I don't need to see it. Did you remember to pick up something for my mom, too? ...I am capable of announcing,"one more beer and I really have to go," and mean it every single time I say it, even when it gets to the point that the one bar closes and my buddies and I have togo hunt down another. I will find it increasingly hilarious to have my pals call you to tell you I'll be home soon, and no, I don't understand why you threw all my clothes into the outside. What's the connection? ...you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't. ...I have to turn up the radio when The Game or Bob comes on. ...I think what you're wearing is fine. I thot what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now? ...and this is, after all, the 21 century, I will share equally in the housework. You do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, and the dishes. I'll do the rest!

Because I'm a Guy... ...I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I'll miss a whole show looking for it, though one time I was able 2 survive by holding a calculator. ...when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call the mech until long after hypothermia has set in. Oh, and when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another guy shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink beer. ...when I catch cold am homa I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't an issue. ...I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk, or bread.I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "masala" or " vinegar" For all I know these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which"feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism. ...when one of our appliances stops working I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together. ...I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger-how the heck could HE know where we're going? ...there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either lungula, rugee,beer, work or football, though I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't. ...I do not want to visit ur mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for mother's day is ok, I don't need to see it. Did you remember to pick up something for my mom, too? ...I am capable of announcing,"one more beer and I really have to go," and mean it every single time I say it, even when it gets to the point that the one bar closes and my buddies and I have togo hunt down another. I will find it increasingly hilarious to have my pals call you to tell you I'll be home soon, and no, I don't understand why you threw all my clothes into the outside. What's the connection? ...you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't. ...I have to turn up the radio when The Game or Bob comes on. ...I think what you're wearing is fine. I thot what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now? ...and this is, after all, the 21 century, I will share equally in the housework. You do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, and the dishes. I'll do the rest!

THE DAY I HATED SCHOOL. I was asleep snoring ng'rrorrr ng'rrorrr.The chicken shouted 3 times.I opened 1 eye & left the other to sleep a bit.I was wishing i had slept with my uniforms putted on but i realized if wishes were chickens beggars wld be laying eggs.I woke up ...with only 1 eye openn & i was looking wherethe pramastof was put,i wash my face.I cooked a tea without milk.I drank the tea haphazardy & hurriedy with a piece of sadza which had remained last night.I put on my uniforms & then painted myself with fat & becoz therewas no kiwi i had to paint my shoes with fat to.I took my paperbag put books & pens then ran everything.I beated the 1st corner hardlythen as i was beating the 2nd corner i heard the school bell cry nkgrirriririri ngkririrriri! I knew my buttocks were on fire 4rm teacher on duty.When i reached the gate!! You dont want to know!! Mr Dube was standing at the gate witha big black hozpipe.I was so afraid dat i almost urinated.I was asked ''Y are u late?'' i said my pramastof was poured with water last night'' teacher asked ''What had datto do wit your coming to school late?'' I told him the stove was late to burn so it delayed cooking strong''he said ''dat is no excuse!!Touch your toes to greet the world'' I started to remove my shoes so i cantouch the toes but he told me i just meant bend.He gave me the 1st beating on my buttocks,he hehe it was hot & boiling,i dried dat 1.He gave me the 2nd one papa!!dis one was much hotter & i started hearing to cry.When the 3rd one was given to me i heard somuch pain dat i touched my buttocks.Teacher Dube said ''You have erased dat 1,i will haveto give u another 1'' When i was given the 4th 1 tears started getting out of my eyes uncountallably.The teacher said ''You removing tears 4 who?Idnt want to see even a smell of tear,ran to class & dont late tomorrow!!'' My buttocks as i went to class were hearing as if sitting in a burning pramastof.From dat day i sware i'l neva come 2 skul late

THE DAY I HATED SCHOOL. I was asleep snoring ng'rrorrr ng'rrorrr.The chicken shouted 3 times.I opened 1 eye & left the other to sleep a bit.I was wishing i had slept with my uniforms putted on but i realized if wishes were chickens beggars wld be laying eggs.I woke up ...with only 1 eye openn & i was looking wherethe pramastof was put,i wash my face.I cooked a tea without milk.I drank the tea haphazardy & hurriedy with a piece of sadza which had remained last night.I put on my uniforms & then painted myself with fat & becoz therewas no kiwi i had to paint my shoes with fat to.I took my paperbag put books & pens then ran everything.I beated the 1st corner hardlythen as i was beating the 2nd corner i heard the school bell cry nkgrirriririri ngkririrriri! I knew my buttocks were on fire 4rm teacher on duty.When i reached the gate!! You dont want to know!! Mr Dube was standing at the gate witha big black hozpipe.I was so afraid dat i almost urinated.I was asked ''Y are u late?'' i said my pramastof was poured with water last night'' teacher asked ''What had datto do wit your coming to school late?'' I told him the stove was late to burn so it delayed cooking strong''he said ''dat is no excuse!!Touch your toes to greet the world'' I started to remove my shoes so i cantouch the toes but he told me i just meant bend.He gave me the 1st beating on my buttocks,he hehe it was hot & boiling,i dried dat 1.He gave me the 2nd one papa!!dis one was much hotter & i started hearing to cry.When the 3rd one was given to me i heard somuch pain dat i touched my buttocks.Teacher Dube said ''You have erased dat 1,i will haveto give u another 1'' When i was given the 4th 1 tears started getting out of my eyes uncountallably.The teacher said ''You removing tears 4 who?Idnt want to see even a smell of tear,ran to class & dont late tomorrow!!'' My buttocks as i went to class were hearing as if sitting in a burning pramastof.From dat day i sware i'l neva come 2 skul late

A very poor woman called a Christian radio station asking for help. A bad, evil man who was listening to this radio program decided to make something out of it. He got her address, called his secretary and ordered her to buy food and take to the woman with the following instruction., '' when the woman asks who sent the food, tell her that its from the devil.'' when she arrived, the woman was so happy and she started putting the food inside. The Secretary asked her.''dont you want to know who sent the food''?. The woman answered. ''no , it doesnt matter, coz when GOD orders, even the devil obeys.

A very poor woman called a Christian radio station asking for help. A bad, evil man who was listening to this radio program decided to make something out of it. He got her address, called his secretary and ordered her to buy food and take to the woman with the following instruction., '' when the woman asks who sent the food, tell her that its from the devil.'' when she arrived, the woman was so happy and she started putting the food inside. The Secretary asked her.''dont you want to know who sent the food''?. The woman answered. ''no , it doesnt matter, coz when GOD orders, even the devil obeys.

The first 52 seconds after sex is important because thats when a woman needs to be held the most, to be ensured that she's appreciated and that her man cares about her heart the most. She really enjoys the goodnite kisses and thats the part of the night she loves the most, because a woman doesn't wanna feel used after sex...thats the type of feeling that makes a woman hurt the most!! See good men ...pay the price for all the trouble that fake men have caused the most, so when we get a good woman we love her hard to make her forget about the cowards that made her cry the most...And when a man really loves a woman he accepts her kids as his own,and even if her credit is badhe won't stop cleaning it up untill he gets a home. Real men love strong, and real men love God too much to live wrong and thats why somany good men are married.Making love outside the balcony in the rain because they married, strawberries whip creme everything on top because they married. A Real man buries his past and focuses on the woman he's with, even if she's just his girlfriend he still respects her and treats herjust like a gift. >>> And these are the kind of things real men say >>>Baby dont worry about it ill sell the rims on my car to pay our rent, i love you more than material things and i will never quit. Yeah baby i messed up and i admit my wrongs, i was a boy when we met but now im a man and im sangin a different song. Im taking this job cause i love my family even though it only pays minimum wage, but that will get us byuntill i find something better and baby ill never leave you or walk away